Mindfull to Mindless
The battle in my brain can ping pong back and forth like a competitive pickle ball match. The negative self-talk can get out of control. Unfortunately, it often happens at night when I'm trying to sleep. The momentum gains as I weave fictional stories that may have occurred during the day. My mind spins. My mind is full.
Mindfull . . . yes, I purposely spelled mindfull with two L's. My apologies to all of my English teacher friends. At times, my mind can be full of thoughts. Flashbacks of the day, real or imagined, with narratives such as, Oh, why didn't I do this or why did I say this, I should have said this in the meeting . . . Unfortunately, it ends with a not so kind sentiment about myself. I'm way too hard on myself.
Yes, I am mindful throughout the day, I am well aware of my thoughts, words and interactions. But how can I shut out my mindfull of irrational thoughts? How can I be mindless so I can have a good night's sleep? I need less mind and more sleep!
I like to think of mindfulness as the journey to self-awareness without judgement. However, it's that self-judgement that gets me. We fall prey to judging ourselves with a harshness of a Nebraska blizzard. And really what does it matter if you stuttered or stated your thoughts in a meeting? The journey to self-awareness without judgement is a process. It's a practiced intention of staying in the moment and loving and appreciating that moment. I discovered focusing on an image that has nothing to do with your career, personal or professional relationships, you are more apt to find a place of peace. For example, I like to focus on a meadow of wildflowers. I take a few deep breaths and tell myself everything is working out perfectly for me. The vision, breathing and mantra all help to find a space for me to calm my mind full of irrational thinking. So, in essence I want to be mindful during the day, clear my mindfull of irrational thoughts at night so I am able to attain a peaceful, mindless sleep. Mindful to Mindfull to Mindless. Don't mind me, I'm trying to mind my own business! :)
Feel free to share how you may deal with a mind full of irrational thoughts.
Enjoy your day!